Life Whispers

Today’s insert is of a black child story, a story that is not unique In our country yet has a unique outcome. Naledi Malunga is a mom of 3 who was raised by a domestic worker that later became unemployed, forced by circumstances she grew up fast and had to learn how to listen to the motions of life and signs. As we get to know her I encourage you to allow yourself to be lost in the story, allow yourself to see your own life through her journey. I hope this will challenge you to not give up on yourself.

What did you let go of to be who you are?

Growing up as a young girl in the streets of Motherwell nu 9, I had to look around me and choose the future me from the adults around me. 

I had to learn to watch people and how they live their lives to choose which type of lifestyle that would lead me to what I wanted to be in life.

It was in the limited circles that I moved around; people in my neighborhood, the church, schooling, and television mainly shaped my goals and thoughts about my life. I had to choose a lifestyle that will shape and create a better me by simply looking at those around me.

I was fortunate to get an opportunity to move in with my mother’s boss (she was a domestic worker) so I can be close to the school they found for me. This came as a result of violence at my then-school (Yizo-Yizo vibes if you know what I mean). I was already in grade 5 and after being assessed at the new school I was moved back to grade 4, I was happy with this as I was a grade ahead according to my age at the time.

The move from a previously disadvantaged school to a Model C school was very eye-opening for me. I was the only black child in the class because I was in the Afrikaans mainstream classes, so this was quite shocking for me as a 10-year-old. The lifestyle was very different from where I came from. 

No going outside to play with other kids without an organized play date. Having to stay in a controlled environment with bedtime stories and play dates was all new to me.

After 1 year I had to move back home and from the experience I had, I could not adjust to the lifestyle I had left behind previously. This is when I had to let go of hanging around with friends purposelessly, this saved me from the challenges that teens face later in life of being exposed to alcohol, premature sex, and other issues.

What shaped your education journey and career? 

Changing my lifestyle then forced me to stay indoors and focus more on my studies. I improved and excelled academically in high school. We lived in poverty with my mother no longer working and now being a street hawker life became more and more difficult and this made me more determined to succeed in life. 

I worked hard and researched on how I would be able to study further. I asked questions and grabbed all opportunities (expos, workshops etc) that came my way to expose me to a better life.

After matric I had applied for university and funding, I played it safe and only applied at Nelson Mandela University (NMU) and for NFSAS. I never had the courage to apply out of town, how would I survive? I asked myself often. 

I passed my matric well but my mother was not too fond of the idea of me studying further and was in a hurry for me to go and find a job and ease the burden for the family. I rebelled greatly against this idea and went ahead to register for Information Technology (IT) I was accepted for at NMU.

I studied IT with some challenges and completed my 3-year diploma in 4 years and now the pressure was really on me to leave and find a job as we were really struggling at home.

By the time I had completed my final exams I had two job offers to choose from. I chose the “easier/less challenging job” as I did not believe in myself taking a job that required me to get a car and driver’s license within a specified time. I mean the fact that I had made it to matric without having a child and completing an entire qualification I had already achieved above my wildest dreams.

I worked at my 1st job (IT Helpdesk) for a few months before I was approached for a junior (part-time) lecturing position at the university which I did part-time. 

Later in that year, I was approached by a big manufacturing company offering me an internship. I moved to the manufacturing company the following year and I knew I had to go for the experience as an IT graduate. The lecturing had stolen my heart and I had fallen in love with teaching (imparting into others) with passion.

After 6 years in the IT industry, I started feeling uncomfortable and I just wanted to move, I applied for other IT jobs with never getting a response. 

I started moving my focus into my 1st love which was teaching/lecturing. After applying a few times to a few places I ended up in education standing in front of a classroom in a Christian school and that is how Naledi the teacher was birthed.

I believed God shaped my move into the education space, I am very passionate about young girls and working with young people. When I started my studies I never even considered Education as a route I would take but here I am 4 years in the classroom, a move only God could have ordained.

Where are you mentally, spiritually, and physically right now?

Physically I am an exhausted mother of 3 children (8,3 and 1 year old) who is trying to get back into shape after years of neglecting my physical body due to many circumstances that lead to the current situation.

Mentally I have freed myself from a toxic environment that had stolen my peace of mind and sanity for a long time. I have been intentionally working on myself to get where I am currently. I am in a good space and my cup is full. I have to mention that I have been going to therapy regularly to get to where I am at the moment.

Spiritually I am being intentional of getting back to where I was a few years ago. It is always a work in progress. I could be in a better position spiritually but God is still the center of my life and I pray and read the bible as often as I can.

How important is it for women to have their own careers?

We are not all going to be academics and have professional careers but I am an advocate for Vuka uzenzele. Whether you vuka and study or vuka and hustle or any other ways. 

Goal setting for me is so important, every year I set goals for each and every area of my life and career and self-development is often one of the most important areas in my life. I remember a few years after my marriage I felt like I was losing myself and was being consumed by all the responsibilities that came with the role. 

I took a decision to go back to school and it was a way for me to feel good about myself and feel like I am not just pouring out but I am also being enriched and filling my own cup. 

We need to ensure that we find ways to add value to ourselves and become independent. 

Having something that you are working on should be one of the most important things that we as women do for ourselves.

My top Pearls of Wisdom from this insert:

If you can see it you can be it. With every stage, we find ourselves in there is always someone we can aspire to be like. 

Learn to adjust to seasons. When the vision of who we want to become is clear seasons may change but they will never kill what you have visualized.

Be honest with yourself, when you do not know ask.

You don’t achieve goals when you feel ready, you achieve them when you act with the fear.

When you surrender to the process God will always lead you to your place of service.

What is your takeaway? comment below, or connect to the family on the (6) Sheiscertified | Facebook  Private group where you will see Naledi’s picture and you can share your thoughts.

I love you

Go forth and be amazing

Talk to yourself

Hey Abundant girl

You have to come to a place where you are willing to take responsibility for your part in the story. Your part in the friendship ending, relationship turning toxic, your part in not getting that opportunity etc…

This is not a cute post, but a necessary one as we tackle wellness and wellbeing. Honesty is one of the most powerful gifts you could ever give yourself. What we ignore debris and that clogs up our spiritual, physical, and emotional wellbeing. Nothing is worth you losing you.

Some people are short tempered, some are impatient and some carry everyone and everyone’s needs yet they refuse to be carried when they are in need these are all traits of toxicity. You have to build an intolerance for the unhealthy parts of you, they are not cute and they are boring now. They have put you in unworthy situations long enough, they have caused you to have low self-esteem in areas you are gifted in and they have kept you in a job you hate because you are afraid to try anything else.

Learn to listen when you get into a disagreement without defending yourself, often at times people who experience you have a better viewpoint on where your weaknesses are like many of us, it’s always easier to point at another person than it is to look within ourselves. God made us this way, I think so that we would not live independently from one another we are social beings after all. 

There are practical tools you can use to unclog your flow:

This will look like journaling 

Finding a mentor

Going to counseling

Even talking to yourself.

My personal favorite is talking to myself, talking to myself before I respond to offense by trying to gain understanding from a different perspective, talking to myself before accusing “you always do this” and instead “you know when this happens I get hurt, please tell me what happened”. These are little yet necessary acts we actively need to do to become better. 

What if you had a glimpse of your best life and the only thing between you and it is a past trauma you are struggling to let go of?

What if your impatience has cost you your breakthrough? because you could not wait to see a thing through you rushed and stumbled into things that cost you more than the wait.

Wellness and Well-being flow from how we see ourselves. It is in how we see ourselves that we see the world and practice grace for one another.

Wealthy girls don’t play the blame game, they do the work and attract what they are.

I love you

Go forth and be fabulous

Wellness in the Workplace

Hey Wealthy Girl

Today’s blog is inspired by a conversation I had with my husband. He came back from work and told me I think I need to see a psychologist. I immediately stopped what I was doing and went to sit down with him. I asked him Why? He said lately my mind goes blank at work, I literally have to ask myself what am I doing again? He said it’s alarming because it is happening every day now when he zones out and cannot figure out what he was doing and how he moved from one place to the next. I asked him a couple of questions he answered me and we looked for a psychologist.

My analysis was he was overworked and his brain could not catch up, it was sending signals to the body to rest (shut down). Most of us wake up every day to jobs we don’t like and unethical managers that micro-manage us and we have to because we have responsibilities. Some companies have programs that support employee wellness and that’s amazing but some companies have these programs on paper and they are never implemented. So how do you cope in a place that doesn’t prioritize your wellness?

I’ve compiled a list below:

Start your day with the right mind: Let the first thing you do in your day nourish your spirit (I personally start my day with grow with jo – YouTube and no social media for the first hour.

Have a quiet time: 5minute of meditation or prayer, 5minutes of affirmations if you don’t know what to say, you can check my previous blog  Choose life (sheiscertified.com).

Speak into your day: Declare the day blessed, declare it successful with your mouth.

Do one thing you enjoy per day: this sounds so simple but it’s so powerful. Sitting down and writing things you enjoy and making a commitment to do just 1 will change your whole mood. I play with my dog and I have a song I listen to daily.

Don’t entertain negative talk during the day: This will drain all the work you did when you woke up.

Laugh: Spend time with colleagues who make you laugh instead of colleagues who always complain about how horrible the job is and how horrible the hours are.

These are a few simple things you can do to protect your peace. You may not be able to control what happens around you but you have full control over how you receive it. Your spirit is like a sponge, it absorbs and when it is full access comes out. Fill yourself with goodness until you have the courage and strategy to walk away and step into your best life.

Proverbs 15:1 A soft and gentle and thoughtful answer turns away wrath, But harsh and painful and careless words stir up anger.

I love you

Do I attract what I am?

In  2017 I was celibate for two years at the time, I made a decision after a heartbreak that almost cost me my mind that I would never allow myself to love anyone that way again. The pain I felt propelled me to start an organization helping young girls go through trauma and It was my heart and soul.

The more I served in the organization the more I got to know who I was. The more I became clear about what I wanted in my life. It became clear to me who I was becoming was not worth my previous life choices something had to change. I was attracted to toxic relationships. I became a role model for many young girls and was active in my community and church.

I believe a healthy relationship with yourself will bring a healthy relationship with your partner and friends I call this relationship attraction or manifestation.

My superpower is I cannot lie to myself. I did not pretend like I was not hurt I made it known I was dealing with some stuff and my confidence was hugely impacted.

I asked myself hard questions, why did I ignore the signs of the previous relationship? Why did I choose to be in a man’s life that had another woman?

Why did I believe that was what I deserved?

Truth be told I discovered within me I was afraid of having the responsibility of loving and being loved fully and selflessly because I believed it would not last, It was better if I chose the unavailable person.

The signs were easy to ignore because I did not grow up around men that stayed, they all left. They left wives, they left pregnant girlfriends and my dad also left so I was not going to let anyone leave me. I wanted the unavailable guy so that my heart would not fall and if he left it would not hurt.

I believed I deserved that because my whole outlook on life was broken. I knew God as God and as a friend but I could never relate to him as my Father because fathers had left an unpleasant taste in my mouth. 

Wholesome relationships exist, I’m married now to a whole man. He had to go through my thorns in order to get to this soft loving me. I had to unlearn and relearn what a relationship should be.

My hope for you today is to understand you attract what you are. When you spend time with yourself doing things you love and are passionate about you begin to discover how great of a person you are.  My hope is that you will reject everything that keeps you away from your best life that you will not let brokenness hide inside of you and manifest as a personality trait.  

Have a fantastic evening.

Go forth and multiply.

Money & Purpose

Hey Wealthy Girl

Super excited about today’s blog. A story of someone who took what they had, the skill they had, the people she knew, and the capital she had to create the life of her dreams.

Meet Zizo Sikiti a Chemistry Graduate born in the Eastern Cape. She started African Crown Care  African CROWN CARE | Facebook.

We did a Facebook Q&A that I hope will inspire you, challenge you and get you excited to live a life you are proud of.

I read in your post that you are a Chemistry graduate and currently unemployed how did you start African Crown Care? What was your thought process? 

I always knew in my 1st year at varsity that I’m studying chemistry because I want to formulate my own beauty products but I didn’t know whether skin or hair. Later I found love for natural hair, I decided to go back to natural, learn and unlearn about our hair care regimen. I found that there’s a lot of information we don’t know about our hair so I want to share that but also earn a living from it. That’s how African Crown Care was born. 

I want to educate and still live my dream.   It was confirmed many times that this is where I should be, when people see me at the mall they ask me to help them pick hair products. People always asked what do I use, how do I do it. Almost every day. So I saw that this is my place of influence & I can’t wait for big brands like Revlon to recognize me. I decided to create my own brand.

I absolutely love this, I once read the book A Passion for Purpose by Afrika Mhlophe he explains in the book why purpose is connected to serving. Reading this I’m seeing a person who found a way of serving by undergoing a process of unlearning and relearning. Would you say being unemployed has pushed you towards taking steps towards the “confirmation” you have you have received overtime? 

Definitely, I have been applying for jobs and getting rejected. I realized that I have time and vision so I decided to execute my ideas and anything else like funding will find me in motion.

I constantly advocate no season is wasted, how did you get your mind to think like that? How did you choose to define it as an opportunity instead of saying I’m doomed? 

 Exactly what you are saying, nothing is wasted. I’ve learned that everything you go through doesn’t go to waste. I missed out a lot on my childhood. From the age of 9 years, I would come back from school and help my grandmother at her shop. On weekends as well. I didn’t have time to play with other children. So that must’ve been shaping me for something. So I took all of that into building something for myself. Before I went to Chemistry I couldn’t get space in the courses I wanted so the only course that was available was business management. So I did that for 1 year & I didn’t understand why God would put me in a business course when I did maths and physics and passed with flying colors. But now I had to reflect and use all of that. And indeed nothing went to waste. I’m applying what I learned in Business and Chemistry. 


What words do you speak with yourself to actually take a leap and start something? I know this is not your first business you also have a fitness line if I’m correct? 

Yes in my final year I started a fitness clothing line. I am someone if I hear a word from God, I run with it. If the word says starts now with what you have, that’s what I do. Had I not started my fitness line I wouldn’t have gotten those profits which by the way I used to start African Crown Care.

My last question how did you know God was pulling you towards this direction?  

That’s a tricky one there’s no one single answer. I am also someone who is spiritually gifted in that I see things whether by vision or dreams. So I know if I see something while I’m sleeping, it definitely didn’t come from me, that’s how God communicates with me. Truly if an idea visits me every day I pray about it and he answers and I found that he provides for me in this direction, when I start something there are always people assigned at the right doors for things to come together but should I go another direction I don’t see his hand.

That’s it my queens, don’t downplay your interests and what you currently have in your possession. God asked Moses what is in your hand?

Catch Zizo here  https://wa.me/message/RENYTUKY347QA1 to place your orders.

Go forth and be fabulous

I love you

Words

Words are so powerful that out of everything God created he chose to define himself as WORD through John by saying “In the beginning was the Word, the Word was with God and the Word was God” this means words are serious business.


Many of us as believers claim to believe in God, but our words go against what we say we believe in.  The bible says “In the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks”. Our words tell us the conversations we are having with ourselves.  For example, the bible says we are more than conquerors, but when adversity comes do we become that? Do we become more than conquerors or does our faith become frail? (hear me right I’m not saying being hurt or disappointed is wrong but what do you speak during that time”.
To believe in God is to believe he is the Word. He is the true Word. It is to believe you are strong enough to withstand and overcome. To believe in God, it is to listen to the words we are speaking with our friends are we sounding lost or found, are we sounding weak or strong, are we sounding faithless or faithful? 

I applied for a promotion at work and I met all the requirements guess what? I never got it. My words because of my faith can say to me God is true what I do not get is redirection or I can say I’ve had it nothing ever works for me. Either way, what I believe in is revealed through each statement.

Today I have a few questions we need to answer.
What are your words telling you about your faith?
What are you feeding your faith?
What size is your God?

The bible says in the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks, your words are a manifestation of what is in your heart. Everything we see is a manifestation of what we do not see. Words are powerful, Jesus cursed a fig tree that looked like it had fruit at a distance, and the closer he got he saw it had no fruit just leaves. 
Who are you? 
Are you bearing fruit? or do you show up green like you have fruit?
God wants to work through you, through me, and for him to do so we need to be transformed by the renewing of our minds and this starts with the conversations we have with ourselves.

Be blessed and fabulous
I love you.

It’s 3 am

It’s 3 am and I’m in bed with my sleeping husband he looks absolutely peaceful and instead of being in this moment, I’m reflecting on a conversation I had with a sister of mine over the weekend about guilt and shame.

We were sharing the turmoil of feelings after the abortion, miscarriages literally everything that has to do with the womb. In the conversation from my mouth, these words came out “the reason we have to choose to believe the thoughts God has about us is so that we don’t carry shame”. 

I have no idea where this came from, well I know it was the spirit of God. The reason it is important to choose to believe God when he says:

You are the apple of my eye.

I formed you in your mother’s womb before the foundations of the earth.

My ways are not your ways neither my thoughts your thoughts.

I have called you and set you apart for such a time as this.

I am a father to the fatherless, a husband to the widow.

You are the righteousness of God, you have no sin and have done no wrong.

The list is endless I could go on, but the reason it is important to receive these expressions of God to us about our lives is so that we can live without the burden of shame. Shame steals away joy, laughter, peace, and opportunity to be loved and love back. God is so good that he knew we would make bad decisions yet in advance he said I will call her these things so that when she makes a mistake she knows I already forgave her. Would you receive God’s love for you today? would you call yourself like he calls you? would you trust him with not only your provision but also your freedom from shame? 

Take a deep breath at the start of this new week and receive your identity, receive the thoughts he has about you. Don’t live like you are alone. Live life like you have a Dad that really loves you and wants to hold you and wants to heal you and wants to direct you every single day he calls you blessed, he watches over you when you sleep and he drops thoughts, visions, and dreams that he wants you to have.

I love you, whoever this is for God loves you so much to wake me up for you.

Expectation

Hey wealthy girl

I’m going to say this until you believe it until you start seeing yourself through the eyes of the father.

There are things you have to receive from God not only for your life but the people connected to you. You have to receive confidence so that your children may not battle low self-esteem. You have to receive healing so that you may not hurt the people that want to love you. You have to receive joy so that nothing and no one can take your laughter away. Your destiny is dependent on you seeing yourself right, It’s dependent on you speaking a language of life to yourself, It’s dependent on you choosing your mind to be reprogrammed by the Lord.

We always hear motivational speakers saying you become your thoughts, and for the longest time, I did not quite understand this until I lost my mom last year and it went dark. I never knew inside of me there was so much darkness and negativity. I never knew I could be so afraid. The funny thing about this whole thing is that I was functioning I showed up where I needed to show up, I did my job and smashed my targets but inside… inside i was dead. See we are masters at covering up and hiding our misery.

It was at that moment that I disconnected all social media including Whatsapp and sat with myself and God found me. Well, he had me all the while but I did not see it until I silenced everything and I sat in my pain. It was in that space that I began to ask him questions and it was then that he started healing me and changing my mind.

I’m not an expert on anything, but I’m a girl who dared to believe what God was saying about her in the midst of my darkest hour. There’s a calling on your life. Even when I don’t know what to post and say on this blog but your spirit pulls me in and I just pour what’s in my heart. There’s an expectation from heaven for you to believe in yourself, for you to take your business to higher levels, for you to choose a better path. There’s an expectation for you to show up for yourself every day like you show up for other people. There’s an expectation for you to allow God to think through you so your life may be transformed.

I thank you for being part of this community and I love you. There’s a lot more coming with this family. Some of you are in business and we will be profiling those, some of you are artists, some are storytellers the list is endless. 

If this community blesses you, I encourage you to share so we can become bigger and stronger together. If you have suggestions respond to my email and let me know.

Choose Life

Hey Wealthy girl

I invite you to read this out loud until your soul hears it. Until your hairs stand up. Until your fears vacate the room. Until your faith stands up.

I am gifted, even more than I think and believe.

God believes in me that is why I still have breath in my lungs.

My dreams are real, they are only scary because they come from God.

I am never alone, His hand is always holding me.

When I pray, He hears me and He answers.

I have more than enough to share with others.

When I walk into the room the atmosphere changes because I carry confidence and grace.

My family is healthy, I am healthy.

I am wealthy.

I am gorgeous.

I am _____________(say your name)

Check us on the private Facebook group  Sheiscertified | Facebook today was our second task for the Speak through me God challenge.

Tomorrow we are going live at 8pm

I love you, thank you for being part of this family.

I got tired

Hey wealthy girl, 

I got tired. 

Something inside of me got mad. I got tired of knowing scripture and still not have enough to enjoy my life. I got tired of saying I’m a daughter of God yet I had nothing to show for it. I got tired of a non-impactful Christ. I got tired of words.

So I took time off everyone and everything. I kinda think God forced the time off on me, I was dry, broken, and empty for a while that it became my norm. Not having money after two days from payday was normal. Today my husband and I are believing God for a 5mil house why? because we tested this and we know it works.

So I started this abundance journey I’m sharing with you this September month.

2 Kings 4 vs 1 speaks about a widow who is in debt, bondage who goes to the Prophet her late husband used to work for. She lays her story down and the Prophet asks her what do you want from me? (name it). The prophet asks her what’s in her house and gives her instructions. She follows the instructions and is set free.

You probably thinking what does this have to do with you?  

Join the  Sheiscertified | Facebook page where we will be unpacking and drastically changing our lives and launching for 2022. I will not be doing the challenge on email because I want to respect those who do not wish to participate. 

I will be doing a live, posting videos and giving homework in the group. Be sure to comment and let me know what areas you would like us to focus on. I’ve got other people who will join us on this journey, who are successful in different areas of their lives. You are going to make it.

It belongs to you, believe that.

See you later wealthy girl